Squeeeeezing through...

*SIGH*Oh how I miss dirt. I miss Nemiah! The whole thing of quading, dirtbiking, off-roading... getting dirty.
Well, I got through this semester. I squeezed through the brushes, blazed some new trails in my life, working on some old ones, mostly peeled through muddy areas where I have been getting stuck. Overall, I'm bomming on life's crazy roads and enjoying it!
It's been really strange though. I think I have done bad in school... I still feel strangely at peace about EVERYTHING. I'm scared, I feel bad... that I'm so at peace.
God? What's happening?
So worries of school is not all-consuming for me. Rather... concerns of the Kingdom have been penetrating my thoughts. So through these classes, my mind, my soul has been in the middle of "warfare". God been speaking to me BIG TIME about L-i-F-E-! I know I keep saying this and blah blah blah that. But seriously...
ah... I dunno, I'm jus amazed at life. "The Lord is the Author of my life"-what He's been writing is amazing revelation after revelation.
I'll shut-up. I'm scattered.
I been through the mine-field. I'm tired. Need rest. Need to think things over. And have got to rerange things in my life.
Of 6 classes =P, I had only 3 exams.. well, and one paper.
I'm kind of sketched about Revelation exam. Joshua and Judges was easier than I thought, let's hope his marking isn't hard! And finally I had one today (Friday) and I LOVED IT! lol we had a rumble in the chapel, all 4 classes were together and we did the "wave", drum-rolled and cheered for our teacher. Did half of our "intense" exam, then 2nd half 4 of us got together and disected Matthew 2- this was especially fun. We had to memorize the EXEGETICAL METHOD and investigate Mt.2 at the same time, a lot of collaberating and working together, wohoo! Seriously though, I did really have fun.
I love being part of something great.

Home. I'm going home! Yoyo, Billy 'n me, oh 'n Reaco going from Fraser Valley to Nemiah Valley.
My family is here, do some shopping, Christmas is in the air.

What I was encouraged today: "Hope was born into this world, regardless of efforts made by humans to stop God's plans, God's WILL prevails! His will is that we have life, life to the full. This hope came to us as a person! Go Jesus Go!"

GOD in the CLOUDS

I definately been looking to the skies lately for reminder of God's presence. I been at awe with God's mystery. The way He works, how VAST He is, His design seen out in nature:
The trees branches lift up as if in praising it's Gardener, the winds whisper God's power, the Lord's majesty shines in the stars of the sky, the great mountains demonstrate God's might, the forever-flowing rivers, represent God eternal and overflowing of goodness... all of creation, tell somehow of the great Glory, the great something out there, of something close to us.
When I tend to lose track of who and what I'm living for... I am reminded that wherever and everywhere that I am in creation or with people, I am surrounded by worship. It all goes to Him.
He is worthy of it.
And so reminded of the great presence that is drawing close to me, I look to the skies.
I wondered of what Bible says about significance of clouds... I read through when Moses was in Egypt. God used clouds to represent His presence showing His people that He was really there- He hovered over a mountain (a crazy show of lightning and fire shook the mountain too!), He descended as a great cloud of fire to literally keep enemies from attacking Israel. These people followed this great cloud to their destination of land that God promised them.
I been seeing some pretty cool formations. I love the beauty God brings to light.

God met Moses face to face. I am truly amazed with that. God surrounded Moses with a cloud. How I would love that God would bring a cloud round me and engulf me with His presence like that. I read that and am inspired. "God I want my meetings with you like that. Not only when I am with a group of people, but in my own meetings with you day to day".
It's cool, the fact is, He has been surrounding me with "a great cloud". That cloud has been peace. Has been grace. Has been patience. Has been love. Joy. Wonder. Mystery. HOPE.
God doesn't only draw clouds to dance in the sky, but in every way He surrounds our soul with His presence and pours LIFE into us. Our whole life we could know God and still that is not enough to know all mysteries of God. He has much more of His mystery to pour out unto us... He offers us eternity to get to know Him!

"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it."
W.M. LEWIS

Giving back...

YESSS!

LOL, I jus love this picture. I cheer the baby on! Eat the kitty!
During the summer me 'n my bro got a kitty and LOVED them. They brought joy to our whole house! Except for dad, think he is allergic. But they were so much fun to play with, so much fun to pick on.
Then I moved to Lifeteams on September 12th-ish 2004, we got a kitty sometime in the 2nd semester and well... my love for them has changed.
The other girls brought a kitty home after church one time and Supper (that was what the boys named her or Supper time as Eli and Sasha call her.. or Brian called her Snack) was fun to have. UNTIL she started to pee on our carpet in our bedroom and our towels in the bathroom and everything. She whimpered a lot too. Especially after a close encounter with a racoon (hehe).
Go baby go!

SO MANY THINGS ON MY MIND.

lakjdflkdfljsdklskdjflsjflskjfslkjd... this is what my brain would say if it were put into words. AAAH!
Squeekity squeek squeek squeekin'.
I love squirrel talk. It's so... squirrelly! "There's fish in my hair! There's fish in my hair!" I have fallen in love with DiSNEYS. Me and my good friend Adam have been quoting Disneys like crazy lately. Adam I love that we can goof off! Thank you, I really need that. You are awesome! There is a Drive-In Theater (Outdoor theater or somethin like that) in Aldergrove, and we're going this weekend! Me and Adam. Random movies is good, I quote Adam Kuhn "Randomnessness is greeaaat".
Kronk. LOL! I LOVE that. Funniest name in the world. I'll name my kitty that.. if i ever get one.
As of right now, it is about 3 in the morning and I cannot... sleep.
"Hey duuuuuuuude!"
"Mine! Mine. Mine."



All the voices in my head are loud anyway. I am flipping through my radio channels right now (I been incredibly annoyed at how radio stations really tire my ears out by playing the same tracks. They play the new songs 10 times a day, everyday!)... looking for some good tunes... and voices in my head are louder still. A lot has been going on.. I haven't really allowed myself some rest. Today has been one of those days where I have been i n c r e d i b l y
l
a
z
y
.
I was jus so tired! I slept most of the day. In church.. wow.. let me tell you, I was jus so easily distracted.. "Oh, hey.. look, a butterfly" sort of deal. Butterflies in my mind.

My thoughts lately: Friendship is precious.
God thank you! Thank you, for blessing us with peop's who can pour great things into our life, we pour into them. It's especially fun when someone gets you. They jus GET YOU. (((Not sure if I'm making sense.. it makes sense in my head)))
So yea, I been thinking A LOT about all friends I've made, blessed people who I have crossed paths with. I am who I am cuz of them, more powerfully cuz it's all divine appointments of God.
Wohoooo!
My other thoughts: pestering people is sssoooo much fun!
I find pleasure in bugging my sis, Trev... wrestling with people. I lose everytime. But it's still fun. I may be small but I know
"Karate Chicken!"
This kunfu is strong.
"Chicken Ceasar!"
I see a lot, especially in Lifeteams family, wrestling, pestering, fighting, fun arguing, is love.
So if I come around bugging you, you know I am getting you out of your shell 'n jus love ya! *If I don't beat on you, doesn't mean i don't love you.

I been thinking a lot about cutting my hair, been entertaining the idea of piercing my lip again.
I decided I like my hair long.
I would really love to dance.
Love to kayak.
Dirtbike.
AAh!
Grrrr..

Well,
Serenity isn't freedom from the storm, but peace within the storm.
The winds of grace are always blowing, but it is you that must raise your sails.

WONDER...

People travel to wonder at the height of the mountains,

at the huge waves of the seas, at the long course of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion

of the stars,

and yet they pass by themselves without wondering.

-SAINT AUGUSTINE

My Family

This was taken last winter '04 in Nemiah.

L to R- Darcey, me, Trevainian who's hiding our mum Phyllis, Billy, Yolanda, cuz Junior and our dad James.

~~~

"You can do more than pray after you have prayed
but you cannot do more than pray until you have prayed"

-S.D. Gordon

~~~

Rippling out...

Every dewdrop and raindrop had a whole heaven within it.

~h.w. longfellow

Imagine a lake. It's calm. It is as still as you have never seen it before. This autumn morning has breathed some fog, it's tucked into the trees and along the shore of the lake. You are sitting on a beach of rocks. The rocks are rough and eroded, others are smooth and flat. You take a smooth stone and skip it on the still lake. The rock has sunk, the ripples go out from where the rock has carved through the body of water. The ripples go on, it takes a few minutes before the ripples mellow out to stillness.

I like to think that is our lives. The ripples on that still lake. Who we are and what we do ripples out to other people's lives. We are nudged by the ripples people make in our lives or tossed about by the waves blown by them. Whether we like it or not, we are making an impact wherever we go.

Of who we are.

And what we stand for in life.

I can imagine my life. Everyday my prayer is that in some way, great or small, the impact I make is something that lasts.

On that lake I'm moving toward something. I'm moving to the other side of the lake where the Creator stands.

On the other side of the lake where heaven dwells.

I go out from where I started. I'm not alone on this lake, in my journey. I've met many who've impacted my life, positive and negative. I have met many who experienced positive and negative things from me.

Whatever ripples out from me, I pray that it is something that is life-giving- by gentle ripples and even waves that shake the other person. The Great Spirit compells me to move in a way that the impact made on others is not ignored.

The good that pours out from me is only of God.

Always was.

As I'm moving toward my goal, my home, others are being touched and they will also see where the line of ripples trail from. The impacts I've made, they point to where I am heading.

I'm going that way because of hope.

Because of change in my life.

That change is continuing and does not stop.

I'm going because of love.

Because of One Man. And a cross.

Truths are first clouds; then rain, then harvest and food.

~Henry Ward Beecher

Great joy has welled up in my life as I walk in the steps the One who has created me.

Incredible peace harmonizes my life.

It's all in grace.

Because of grace I live,

because of grace I stand,

because of grace I am where I am.

I get to go out on the lake and live the difference He makes in my life.

TOFINO CAKES: cake of seaweed, jellyfish & other stuff

Look at that beautiful girl.
Well.. one of the trips we did with the youth during the summer was Tofino ("Tofino Cakes" as Dalton calls it), Long Beach. This was Cheryl (to the left) & some others first time to the island, first ferry experience & everything, so that was fun to be there with them for this. We left Nemiah later than we anticipated (that's no surprise) & it took a whole day to get down to the island. Lisa and myself were cruising in her car and the youth were in the van with crazy Will. I think the youth would agree with me on this one, Will met a whole lot of people on the way down to Tofino, as well as he met the whole island. Every place we stopped. It got to the point where we were jus goin to tape him to the steering wheel. I think my lil bro, Trev, kept him on his toes. Trev let's you know it when he's antsy =P.
Ferry Ride. One of our highlights of the trip! We caught the evening ferry, it's gotten dark and we venture around the ferry. We were outside most of the time because we were amused by the strong blowing wind. We had fun being blown around! Jus look at the pics, faces tell it all!

Our first nite was spent in Ucluelet. I love saying that name. Ucluelet. We came rolling into the camp at 3 in the morning. Youth groups are expected to be loud.. most of the time. We woke up our neighbors who were a couple. They didn't like us too much that week. The women let us know that.
But we got to sleep in, then hit the beach. It was so beautiful. Jus the way I remember it when me 'n Yo were in QUEST and we went surfing here. Trev, as always, was the first one in, and the last one to get out. Lisa joined me and Cheryl as we jumped against the waves and boogied with the bodyboard. We didn't have to wear wetsuits this time which made me even more happy.
We spent most of the day there, some of the guys went golfing. They saw a bear! On the golf field. That was somethin exciting for the boys.
Our evenings we spent at the camp fire. We all met a knew friend named Zoe. HE played pool with us and talked with us around the fire. He jus went surfing that day and told us about the sweet waves. LOL he swore a lot & the youth kept getting after him.
Oh yea, another friend, I got to include:
This is Willie and Lisa's "dog". Horse think hes a puppy. He follows people everywhere. And he tried to eat my cowgirl straw hat!

Anyways, back to camp. We talked forever, shared a big bag of skittles and went to bed (yes, we brushed our teeth).
Again, half the crew went to the beach and half went golfing. I went golfing this time, along with Lori, Dalton, and Nicole. Me and Lori bugged the poo out of Dalton. Some people are so "pick-able". Actually, most people. God has given me people to pick on! That's a gift of mine;) So we pestered Dalton the whole trip. He bugged us too, beat me up a few times. Some of the time we spent looking for their golfballs in the trees=not fun.
So I said I would not be Dalton's caddy. I felt sorry for the guy so I helped him out.
We celebrated our last nite in Ucluelet with a bag of skittles and went to bed. Wait... we packed up and cruised on back to...
Nanaimo! Nanaimo Bars are so gooood. We rolled in pretty late and were greeted by a drunk gal who was looking for something or was lost, I dunno. I jus remember she was drunk. We found camp, set up in the dark and went to "bed". The 8 of us in our tent stayed up and talked for awhile.
Next day we woke up EARLY and got ready to go to Victoria so we could swim and shop for the day. It took us forever cuz me 'n Lisa lost Will (he went the wrong way) and various other reasons. Finally we made it to Vic. Me 'n Lisa ran errands while the kids went swimming. I had a check to deposit and y'know what? I left my bank card back at the camp... in Nanaimo. Soooo I had to re-issue a new card cuz I needed the money ASAP. My billionth card this year.
Oh! If you haven't gone to Vic before, or have, you got to check out the Harbour (during the summer).. I think it's the harbour. They have crafts, necklaces, earings, portraits and instruments on tables! I love going every summer.
Well, the whole day was shopping. We went to Value Village, some of us dressed up and looked for whatever funky stuff they had. After we hit the mall, we scattered- ran some circles around the mall, looking for one another. By the end, our legs got tired and we cruised on over to the theaters. Duane, Nicole, Lisa, my bro and myself watched the "Super Motocross". I swear dirtbiking is one of the best inventions in the world! THAT and pen and paper and lil box they call camera to capture images! I pray there are dirtbikes in heaven.
So it's late. We needed to head back to Nanaimo, we drop by gas station, fuel up, Willy impresses strangers with his dancing, and we head out! Then it's very late, we roll in to the camp. Sleep.
The next morning, is a gong show. We have to wake up early and catch the 7 A.M. ferry. We get there seconds before it leaves and.... they can't find our reservations.
AAAAh! We wait, get some white hair, cry and pray. We pull out our hair in frustration and then it turns out it was under another persons name, so we make it on.
We are the LAST two cars on the ferry.
WHOO! *Sigh of relief* We cry again, we're so joyous! So we made it to main land, that was good. In Abbotsford we give Trev the boot. LOL actually there was arrangements for Trev to stay with Yo so we dropped him off. Then we made our way to "the Puddle".
So we were supposed to meet all the parent at Botanio Mall at 7, me and Lisa come in just after 7. We knew Willie and the gang were supposed to be ahead of us and they were not there. We waited about 45 minutes and then they showed up. It turns out we were in Cache Creek the same time, we missed them and didn't see them jus across the street. Ha.
Tofino was our big trip in the summer, I hope we can do it again. Without the gong show. But I jus know, this is the start of youth ministry. Gong show and all. Well mine sure is anyway. That's just me. Although, my scatteredness has become more gathered so... we'll see. I have my days.

But jus to say, I got to drive most of all the time! I LOVE to drive.

P.S. Thanks everyone for making this trip happen for us! The kids definately remember it.

"One springgg roll please!"

My family is here in Abbotsford for the weekend. They left "heaven" after work and drove all nite, arrived here 2:30 in the A.M! We been mostly chilling out and watching movies (Jeepers Creepers is s-t-u-p-i-d). Yo and I are trying to get our papers and books done at the same time. I HAVE TO if I want to go to Nemiah with Lifeteams, which I would REALLY WANT TO. So if you're reading this, pray for my obedience. Some of my projects are not so much "fun" to do. "My head has fallen off" and I am now jus gettin it back on. I can laugh at all this, laugh at myself, when it's all done. AFTER it's all done.

It's funny cuz through all this.. I still feel at peace. I am so relieved but uneasy about this at the same time. Should I feel so peaceful about my schooling when it's not looking so good for some classes? Hmmm.. "usually" this would CONSUME me and be one of those things that boot me "out of whack". But I'm not consumed by it. God's given me peace about it. And really, God's centered in my schooling. I'm learning all I can and trying at least. But still, God's given me this year to be at school, I am reminded to honor God in all that I do through my life, actions, work and school. And for school: I'm honoring God, honoring Nemiah, honoring me.

But anyway, yes there's a reason the picture above is there. Tonite we had take-out. Kunfu chick'n! It's been awhile since we've had chinese. It was good! So good. Really good. Because we make our food here at the apartment, we jus haven't gone out for while. And so we had chinese. It's a lil more special cuz our family is here.

You know.. being the children of James and Phyllis is such a blessing. They do so much for us. They've raised us, we are who we are because of them. They drive all night jus to spend time with us. They drive the whole 8 hours to meet our teachers for interviews. They drive forever to see us at our graduations and birthdays. I'm sure if we were in the states or even on the other side of the world, they would still come and see us. Lol I know I'm exaggerating (sp?). But they are there for us. Thank you mom and dad! I haven't forgotten...