.::Grace like rain::.

Oh how blessed are we that there would be such as GRACE that we have. We stood up in it the moment our lips whispered:
"Jesus, You are my King, take my life".
We rose up and stood up on grounds of grace, we rose up and stood before the throne of our Lord.
What set us apart from Him, our transgressions, were gone. They lay far from us as West is to East.
And His grace... like rain.
Falls on us.

...

"As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower
and bread for the eater,
...SO IS MY WORD
that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish
what I desire
and achieve the purpose
for which I sent it.
~Isaiah 55:10,11

...

Wow, I l-o-v-e that.
There's so much abundance to that.
EVERY word that our Lord speaks into our lives and for our lives, will bud and flourish. Every word spoken to the world and what will happen in the world, will be achieved by His word spoken, it will accomplish the purpose for which He sent it.
God spoke it, and it WILL happen!
It is God's desire that abundance flows, it is God's desire that we receive Him, know Him, LOVE Him, and serve Him.
At the moment the words "It is done" left Jesus' lips, the old was no more.
NO MORE!
There on the cross, the battle was fought, Jesus won it, and like a new sunrise, new life rippled out to all who would receive it.
The old is dead. The new is risen!
In today, every morning we wake up with the Lord's breath of life upon us. From long night of darkness, our eyes open to light, we awake in freedom.
We find that the shackles on our feet and hands have released us.
Even if we have served our Lord all our life, He will bring us out of what we have become numb to.
He will empty us out, as we are called to do, so that ALL OF HIMSELF could be poured into us.
Die to ourselves, walk into the new life of Jesus Christ.

...

I am that little girl. Arms wide open. Without the rollerblades. My soul soaks in the grace that so freely rains on me. The Lord has made sure that I know this. This message is not only for me. It is a message for all the nations.
The storm of the Lord will come into every place. The rain, lightning, and all the rumbling thunder. Creator of the great heavens and the earth, and all in it, is going to make His presence known.
My sister pointed out something to me. She knows when the rain is coming. There's that knowingness in the air, the scent. Because she pointed it out to me, I am aware of it now, that "scent" of the rain coming.
I don't have to look to the skies, I jus' feel it in my spirit, the rain, it is already here.

...

He came...

"When I cannot understand my Father's leading, and it seems to be but hard and cruel fate, still I hear that gentle whisper ever pleading, God is working, God is faithful, only wait"
-Streams in the Desert
...
I really needed to hear these words in highschool. I felt I was going through too much crap and... needed that breath of fresh air you get on a mountain top. I needed all the weight of this world that I was carrying to be lifted off my shoulders. I needed someone to feed my burning hunger, my thirst demanded to be quenched... spiritually.

...
I just needed to collapse. The independance I once longed for, I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to depend on something and know that something would hold me up. Needed to trust in something that was worthy, something that was purposeful and... something that was right. Something that would last beyond death that would come in my later days.

...

Everything inside me ached and I could go no longer. I ran and lost my breath. I walked, aimlessly. I danced, no excitement came. Slowly I grew tired, all my strength drained from my muscles, all my excitement squeezed out from my soul. Hope flickered like a light in my heart, about to be blown out. I crawled and only made it so far.
I screamed out to the world and they kept on going. They passed me and ignored my plea of help. But the one I called "Lord" heard me. He really did.
He lifted me from the ground...

...

Footprints in the sand
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there were one set of footprints. This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints. So I said to the Lord, "You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there have only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?"The Lord replied, "The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand, is when I carried you."

...

I as Jo look back upon scenes of my life and know I have been carried. I've been lifted from my knees. Lifted from crawling. Been straightened when stumbling. Been caught when falling...

All through my childhood as a new Christian, the critical time of my life in grade 10 (I walked through the hallways feeling empty because I kept God at arm's length, I finally "awoke" and lived the abundent life of embracing God and chasing after Him), there were many moments through my college years of God showing up in my times of needing Him in speaking His voice either through His words in scripture or show His face through a person.

...

Dancing in the sand

Imagine you and the Lord Jesus are walking down the beach together. The Lord's footprints go along steadily, consistently, rarely varying the pace. But your footprints are a disorganized stream of zigzags, starts, stops, turnarounds, circles, departures and returns. For much of the way, it seems to go like this, but gradually your footprints come more in line with the Lord's, soon paralleling His consistently. You and Jesus are walking as true friends! This seems perfect, but then an interesting thing happens: Your footprints that once etched the sand next to Jesus' are now walking precisely in His steps. Inside His larger footprints are your smaller ones, you and Jesus are becoming one. This goes on for many miles, but gradually you notice another change. The footprints inside the large footprints seem to grow larger. Eventually they disappear altogether. This goes on for a long time, but suddenly the second set of footprints is back. This time it seems even worse! Zigzags all over the place. Stops. Starts. Gashes in the sand. A variable mess of prints. You are amazed and shocked. Your dream ends. Now you pray: "Lord, I understand the first scene with zigzags and fits. I was a new Christian; I was just learning. But You walked on through the storm and helped me learn to walk with You." "That s correct." "...And when the smaller footprints were inside of Yours, I was actually learning to walk in Your steps; followed You very closely." "Very good. You have understood everything so far." "...When the smaller footprints grew and filled in Yours, I suppose that I was becoming like You in every way." "Precisely." "So, Lord, was there a regression or something? The footprints separated, and this time it was worse than at first." There is a pause as the Lord answers with a smile in His voice. "You didn't know? That was when we danced."

...

I called on Him and He came.

He came! We walked! We danced!
My soul cries a cry that only it's Creator can hear.
My heart speaks a language that only it's Creator can understand.
The me, the little girl, in the deepest part of me, reaches out and only One Hand can reach so far, her Creator.

"If we died with him, we will also live with Him;
if we endure, we will also reign with Him.
If we disown Him, He will also disown us;
If we are faithless, He will remain faithful,
for He cannot disown Himself".
2 TiMOTHY 2:11-13

Ta-daaaaaaa

Haha. I wondered if there would ever be crazy stuff that would come out of fortune cookies. Haha. I found these funny pic's and had to put 'em on.
So I opened my fortune cookie today and....
2 popped out!
I feel special.
I wonder if there is something about that when you get 2... be extra blessed? Well, I don't feel there is so much magic to fortune cookies, I think that these cookies are for fun and most of what you get anyway, in some way, tell of what most people are going through anyway.
The 2 I got read:
"If you don't make mistakes you work too little"
Mistakes is what pushes success in this world. It's weird to think. But it does. The most successful of people have had a lot of mistakes. A lot of my role models had shared there success as well as mistakes. Mistakes are a MUST.
I hated that fact last year. I was in Lifeteams and part of my experience there was failure.
Wohoo. But it runs as part of life. I had to accept that.
...
"Your heart will always make itself known through your words"
For me often times words are not enough to say exactly what my heart feels. There are even not any words that would describe what my heart wants to say.
So I have to resort to... action!
What's in my heart comes out in words but also, more so, come out through my actions. Words and actions are needed to show what's really in the heart.
...
It's kind of fun getting fortune cookies... for me, they more make me think.
I like to think.

Back to the books and into the details.

Well hellooo, here I am again.. 's been a lil while I know. I got the brain farts the last lil while so yea.
I'm back in Abby, been for a lil while, since the 29th of December:) This was our first New Years away from Nemiah, for the first two weeks I been home. Visit family, bug Trev, go skating, bug Trev, visit people at the church, watched my baby cousins get baptized, bug Trev s'more, did some spinnies with our jeep in the valley, pester Billy, a whole lot of couch potato-ing (yessssssssssssssssss), had 4 turkey dinners, get picked on by everyone (I dunno why, I'm so nice to everyone), and spent some amazing nights at Tracey and John's place with their girls.
It was really good. Talked a lot about what our King has granted in our lives.. my path is made a lil more clear..

The day after we got back from home, we went snowboarding and skiiing at Manning Park. I enjoy teaching. I helped Ashleigh and her bro Nathan to snowboard. They caught on pretty quick, I was impressed. OH! Ha this day was a funny day. Sort of. Not really. I was jus really wired that day, I had no sleep at all the night before, I was up late with Adam and Kryssi, with a lot of coffee pumped into me and a whole lot of energy drinks. This past week I haven't had so much energy drinks, EVER! So we had to meet at our church 6 in the morning. I LOVE looking at droggy faces in the morning. I was seriously the only perky person there. Think they got annoyed of me. I was quite surprised at how energetic I was that day. By 7 or 8 o'clock I was ZONKED! I could barely hold a conversation and not sure if anything that came out of my mouth made sense. Lil after 8 Amanda calls me. Haha. It went pretty good though, we talked for 2 hours and have a date on.. 14th. A phone date. Yea! Amanda, my lil "white-indian" from Ontario- I LOVE YOU!

Yo dropped me off in Burnaby on the 31st... wait. No. Ha, I mean Adam came out here to Abby picked me up at Timmy's and we drove out to Burnaby. Me and Adam spent New Years with Malevita and Kryssi, first at Mal's house and then downtown Vancouver. It was pretty good. Low-key, I like low-key and also with a bit of hype on Robson, Granville and some other places.
At about 4 in the morning (on 1st) Adam left. Forever ='(
No. He left for Calgary. For work. I miss you Adam. I'll be seeing you soon.
5 in the morning I got a call from my highschool friend Dan. LOL. We were still up watching some movies and my phone was ringing. "Who is calling me at 5 in the morning?" Haha, it was Dan. He was wishing me a Happy New Years. We had an interesting good long conversation. After that I faded out and woke up at 1. Stayed there til 5 =S
We literally didn't move, but only for food and if we had to go to pee lol.
Wow we are lazy.
Today I registered for classes. Looks like I will be a busy girl. I got 4 classes and auditing 1. I actually only need 3 to graduate this April but decided I wanted 2 more "fun" classes.
My life lately has been emphasized on prayer, worship and surrender. I concluded this is life. A christians life.
I love it.
It's amazing.
It's hard.
It's the narrow path, where few find it.
The road less travelled.
God's patience for me is what I've been VERY THANKFUL for.

My classes are: Adolescent Psychology, Hermeneutics, Psalms, and will be Effective Teaching and I am auditing Worship Leading 1. I hope I can do that with the last 2.
Yoyo is taking Prayer Ministry for me lol. For me. She needs extra classes and we are going to glean off of each other.(I just gleaked. Or is is gleeked. I'm chewing gum and this spray of spit just came out from my mouth... and all over my computer screen.. yea)
So I'm excited about this semester. It'll be busy. It'll be good.

So this entry is a whole lot of rambling. Just about what I did. Enjoy.

I'll conclude with this:

I believe a leaf of grass

is no less than the journey-work of the stars.

~Walt Whitman

I just really notice the detail our Creator puts into everything around us. It's impressive, it's beautiful, it's so... detailed. I been convicted about the detail I put into my work, my life and everything. I'm working on it.

It's a lot like ART. I'm quite anal about the detail of my art, I'm going to take that into my life.

There's an art of looking at God.

Of seeing God.

There's art of expressing God.

Also art of living God.

How am I personally an artist of God in my life?

This has been my question.

The journey-work put into grass has the same effort put into the stars. They both hold mystery. Still hold simplicity.

Our Creator has done this. He's made all these things.

~I see love pour out through the detail of everything around us. God's love. I am astounded.

Because of Love.

There's a verse in the Bible (somewhere) that says "Everything and anything done without love is meaningless". We could prophesy in the name of the Lord and have not love, it's meaningless. We could do all good deeds, if without love it's still meaningless. I could be involved in youth ministry and be propelled by duty rather than love, it would be meaningless.

Love matters in whatever and everything we do... for God.

So this is the eyes I have been trying to look at the world through, at people and at what I do. Through love.

I receive that love through the One who IS love.

This has helped me a lot cuz I am moved by love. I live for love. I die for love. I hope for love. Hope because of love. Breathe because of love.

Thanks for open eyes Lord.

doopadoop

I love our lil southern friend "whiteheads". They just mozy along doing their thing. I've fallen in love with them. They're quite famous! Madagascar, March of the Penguins, Pinguuu, well.. sort of famous. Maybe I've just seen a lot of them. They're very strategic, smart, cute lil guys. Hey, I've learned they're the most social of all birds. They're quite the party birds! Only.. I don't think they dance to the grooves of CocaCola music. Pingu dances though! If you guys haven't seen him in action yet then you're missing out.

Well... you can tell I had a lot to say. I babbled about penguins. Honestly... I been trying to think of some interesting things to say. And. Yea. It's one of those few days where I just got nothing intelligent brewing in my mind. Just been reflecting on life here in Nemiah.
My conclusion... life can be so simple but so complicated at the same time.
To find the 'happy-medium', the balance, in life has been my challenge the past 2 years specifically. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.
It's interesting, I have talked with my 'other mum' Mary about this and I now look at this in a new way.
It's good to be unbalanced.
I been doing my 'balancing act' all this time and in the way Mary looks at it: it's good to be lopsided.
We have been talking about our life story of TRUSTING in the Lord and having faith in where we feel He has called us and the whole thing of leaning into the Spirit and not on the "flesh". Flesh= ugly and defeating. Spirit= beautiful, life-giving and victorious.
We have this constant battle within of selfishness or selfLESSness.
Gratify our temporary sinful desires or say no and lean into the strength of God, the Spirit to do 'what is right' and take that narrow path. The road less travelled.
Become lop-sided, unbalanced in where you are always leaning in on God's understanding and not your own, God's understanding and not the worlds.
It is not only your life that is in the hands of God, not only my life, but every individual you walk by on the street, drive by or sit and have coffee with.
Their lives matter to God. Your life is a concern to God.
Because of this, lean into the Spirit of God.
God's been challenging me to acknowledge him on my every path.
To trust that He will direct my paths,
in where I am now,
in where I am about to go.
.
Here's a quote. It popped up on my computer with this lil robot.
I'm not sure yet what I think about this quote but it sure helped me to think:

...

“If you do your best everything that happens will be for the best”

–Microsoft Robot

...

Where I find God.1.

This is where I find God. When I mean 'find God', His presence

is made more aware to me. I was cruising with Billy through the

CocaHala (sp?) on my way to Salmon Arm and there was so

much snow through there! We kind of were eased into this

beautiful Wonderland. It was so peaceful & beautiful everywhere.

Every time I am home (well everytime, but more specifically)

during the winter time, I love looking upon our valley.

It's seriously Wonderland. It's heaven!

...

Every other blog I will write about where I find God.

This is one: I find God in winter wonderland where mountains

are. My soul screams out "yes" to this. This is the 'mountian-

top'. The life we all imagine life to be... Most of the time we

think life to be only on this place, the mountain-top, the good

peaceful life. We think we can jump from one mountain-top

experience to another mountain-top, but in all reality... we

can't! We forget the valley we have to go down into, the lakes

to go around, rivers to go through, the hard pressing trail we

have got to climb, animals to encounter. Most of the time spent

is down in the valley!

As we are in the valley, some parts of the valley, the sun's

light creeps past the shadow of the mountain, and there

are some parts of the valley that are within the shadow of

the mountain.

...

As I write about this I am remembering the hikes that we went

on in Outdoor Rec 11, Quest, during Lifeteams and hikes in

Nemiah. Oh how i LOVED resting on the mountain-top and

looking at what I had accomplished and scream "I did that!

Through all of that, I made it!" I remember talking to my uncle

Conway when I was home with Lifeteams. He talked about his

hike to Tsylos (Mt.Tatlow): "There's something about that

mtn. From when I left compared to when I have come back

from the hike, I feel really good! About myself and about life.

Makes me want to climb somemore".

...

There's always something that changes in me when I come

back from a hike. It happened everytime I came back from our

hikes during highschool and college. It happened everytime in

my life when I had to face something, I had to climb that mtn. It

was hard! I got tired! I needed others to help me make it

through. As I pray in my life, lol I think that prayer honestly

helped me make it up when I climbed a mountain literally.

When the sun is on our backs, we see everything before us.

We learn a lot in the daylight.

It is when the moon is on our backs, we don't see everything

before us. We take what we learned in the light

and put it to use in the darkness of life!

You learn the most in your walk through the valley

and through the darkness.

Pastor Vern of Northview encouraged us:

"Do not forget in your walk through darkness

what you have learned in the light".

...

So when you are having a rough time, know that you are not

alone in this. You have people around you climbing that same

mountain, some have climbed it before you, they hold the

wisdom of how to 'conquer' that mountain. Ask them how to

get through it. It is a humbling experience.

...

So I guess I started rambling on about mtns and day/night,

and the troubling times of life.. well, we all have it.

But the winter is sometimes, most times?, hard and rough too,

still, it is so beautiful. This earth needs winter as

it needs the summer. But if it had too much of that, well we

would have a dried up earth with dried up everything.

Squeeeeezing through...

*SIGH*Oh how I miss dirt. I miss Nemiah! The whole thing of quading, dirtbiking, off-roading... getting dirty.
Well, I got through this semester. I squeezed through the brushes, blazed some new trails in my life, working on some old ones, mostly peeled through muddy areas where I have been getting stuck. Overall, I'm bomming on life's crazy roads and enjoying it!
It's been really strange though. I think I have done bad in school... I still feel strangely at peace about EVERYTHING. I'm scared, I feel bad... that I'm so at peace.
God? What's happening?
So worries of school is not all-consuming for me. Rather... concerns of the Kingdom have been penetrating my thoughts. So through these classes, my mind, my soul has been in the middle of "warfare". God been speaking to me BIG TIME about L-i-F-E-! I know I keep saying this and blah blah blah that. But seriously...
ah... I dunno, I'm jus amazed at life. "The Lord is the Author of my life"-what He's been writing is amazing revelation after revelation.
I'll shut-up. I'm scattered.
I been through the mine-field. I'm tired. Need rest. Need to think things over. And have got to rerange things in my life.
Of 6 classes =P, I had only 3 exams.. well, and one paper.
I'm kind of sketched about Revelation exam. Joshua and Judges was easier than I thought, let's hope his marking isn't hard! And finally I had one today (Friday) and I LOVED IT! lol we had a rumble in the chapel, all 4 classes were together and we did the "wave", drum-rolled and cheered for our teacher. Did half of our "intense" exam, then 2nd half 4 of us got together and disected Matthew 2- this was especially fun. We had to memorize the EXEGETICAL METHOD and investigate Mt.2 at the same time, a lot of collaberating and working together, wohoo! Seriously though, I did really have fun.
I love being part of something great.

Home. I'm going home! Yoyo, Billy 'n me, oh 'n Reaco going from Fraser Valley to Nemiah Valley.
My family is here, do some shopping, Christmas is in the air.

What I was encouraged today: "Hope was born into this world, regardless of efforts made by humans to stop God's plans, God's WILL prevails! His will is that we have life, life to the full. This hope came to us as a person! Go Jesus Go!"

GOD in the CLOUDS

I definately been looking to the skies lately for reminder of God's presence. I been at awe with God's mystery. The way He works, how VAST He is, His design seen out in nature:
The trees branches lift up as if in praising it's Gardener, the winds whisper God's power, the Lord's majesty shines in the stars of the sky, the great mountains demonstrate God's might, the forever-flowing rivers, represent God eternal and overflowing of goodness... all of creation, tell somehow of the great Glory, the great something out there, of something close to us.
When I tend to lose track of who and what I'm living for... I am reminded that wherever and everywhere that I am in creation or with people, I am surrounded by worship. It all goes to Him.
He is worthy of it.
And so reminded of the great presence that is drawing close to me, I look to the skies.
I wondered of what Bible says about significance of clouds... I read through when Moses was in Egypt. God used clouds to represent His presence showing His people that He was really there- He hovered over a mountain (a crazy show of lightning and fire shook the mountain too!), He descended as a great cloud of fire to literally keep enemies from attacking Israel. These people followed this great cloud to their destination of land that God promised them.
I been seeing some pretty cool formations. I love the beauty God brings to light.

God met Moses face to face. I am truly amazed with that. God surrounded Moses with a cloud. How I would love that God would bring a cloud round me and engulf me with His presence like that. I read that and am inspired. "God I want my meetings with you like that. Not only when I am with a group of people, but in my own meetings with you day to day".
It's cool, the fact is, He has been surrounding me with "a great cloud". That cloud has been peace. Has been grace. Has been patience. Has been love. Joy. Wonder. Mystery. HOPE.
God doesn't only draw clouds to dance in the sky, but in every way He surrounds our soul with His presence and pours LIFE into us. Our whole life we could know God and still that is not enough to know all mysteries of God. He has much more of His mystery to pour out unto us... He offers us eternity to get to know Him!

"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it."
W.M. LEWIS

Giving back...

YESSS!

LOL, I jus love this picture. I cheer the baby on! Eat the kitty!
During the summer me 'n my bro got a kitty and LOVED them. They brought joy to our whole house! Except for dad, think he is allergic. But they were so much fun to play with, so much fun to pick on.
Then I moved to Lifeteams on September 12th-ish 2004, we got a kitty sometime in the 2nd semester and well... my love for them has changed.
The other girls brought a kitty home after church one time and Supper (that was what the boys named her or Supper time as Eli and Sasha call her.. or Brian called her Snack) was fun to have. UNTIL she started to pee on our carpet in our bedroom and our towels in the bathroom and everything. She whimpered a lot too. Especially after a close encounter with a racoon (hehe).
Go baby go!