It's a mystery.

The Holy Spirit's work is a mystery. I just cannot wrap my mind around it. A lot of times I think I try to see if there is a strategy or the right steps or something, anything to figure out the plans of God. The plan He has willed in my own life.. everyday I think about it. God is always on my mind.
Sometimes I try to find Him anywhere I can, any evidence at all, I'll look for it. In a face, man-made buildings, nature of course, always the skies...
And there's always a knowing in me, a deep conviction burning within me-
Something more. Something greater.
'Pursue God. You'll never regret it.'
The sense of this is in all of me, the core of who I am.

From book "Cross and Switchblade"
"Paul," said Pastor Berg, "there's good news. You have just been elected Treasurer of Teen-Age Evangelism. David Wilkerson is your director in this fight for young people. And you'll be glad you have a budget for $20,000 for the first year".
Paul asked, "Who is David Wilkerson, who's got the books, and where is the money?"
"Paul", said Berg, "we have no books, we have no money, and Dave Wilkerson is a preacher from the hills of Pennsylvania who believes he belongs in New York".
Paul laughed. "You make it sound naive", he said.
"We are naive, Paul", said Pastor Berg. "Just about as naive as David was when he stepped up to Goliath with nothing but a sling, a pebble... and the conviction that he was on God's side".

And there is, there is a deep conviction that I am on God's side.
All I have is weakness. Have nothing. Just pebbles. And a sling.
A heart willing to worship my Savior with my life.

All He says is listen.
W a i t .
Set myself down, quiet my soul and voices that don't seem to stop chattering in my head, I try to quiet them too.
Wait when He says wait, Go when He says go.
And it's weird, peace is a Spirit God's been laying in me- about EVERYTHING.
Peace about waiting, peace about going- everything.
lol think a few times I got to the point where I questioned this peace- I've tuned into God, "Should I be THIS PEACEFUL about this? About that?"
Yep.
"Is there such thing as too much peace?"
God says nope.
Just enjoy it.
So I do.

Things have been happening, been stirring here.
I have been waiting, praying, wrestling, listening and He actually talks to me ("Duh Jo").
In that... I'm just at a place of awe. Astoundment. Excitement.
I'm holding my breath. Much like holding my breath on a roller coaster. The coach is inching up and up until we peak, we're at the highest point of the ride, my breath is held. There's a silence, the quick pause, and my hands are clenching on to the handlebars, and then the coach goes down.
I know it will be good.