In this I find truth, in it I know there's life.

In the gospel. In the message Jesus was born to give us. The freedom of the new life, it's real. This life is eternal and Jesus died that we may have it.
A life was transformed, some 50 years ago. If you would have witnessed his life before he asked Jesus into his life, it'd be one you'd see of death, hopelessness, so dark you would wonder if there is anything so dark. He moved from a home where he was unloved, broken, angered, and hated to the streets of New York where time and hatred birthed a boy who led street gangs. He was the most feared. He feared no one. But himself. He hated himself. Hatred was his wings that took him to valleys of death.
This man was Nicky Cruz. This life was deprived and saddening. And Nicky new it. This is the only life he knew.
In another life, one 8 hours away from New York, in the country side was a man named David. He was a preacher. He knew Jesus. He knew the transforming, hope-giving power. He replaced his habit, tv-watching for praying. 3-4 hours a night he met the Lord face to face in prayer. One night, one night that changed his life was a message he received to go to streets of New York and transform the lives of the gangs. David was petrified! He's just a country preacher, a small town hick who knew nothing, no experience, not anything of gang life. Still God told him to go. He obeyed.
He trusted God would show him something that they may relate or find common ground with each other. And he did. David made mistakes, David made good decisions. But that's it. God used even mistakes of this limited human to bring glory to Himself. David didn't find favor in eyes of policemen. The gangs definately were not favored in eyes of the police department. David was just another prick, another hassle and pebble in the shoe. The gangs were the trouble in the city, they were pricks, hasslers and boulders in the shoe. Common ground. This was David's ticket in to the gang's acceptance of him. If you were hated by police you were automatically liked in the gangs.
Now Nicky, ran into David at one of David's street corner preaching. The message David relayed to the gangs spoke to the leaders. David called gang leaders forward, the leaders knelt and accepted the message of Jesus. Nicky and his friend and other leader Israel were called forward. They went up. David shared, Nicky spat on his face and threatened to kill the preacher. Yet David didn't hold back or shribble up in taunts of intimidation. He shared the message of love. Nicky didn't like that. He hated it. Hated David and everything he stood for. Love was what he lacked. Love was something Nicki saw as weak, vulnerable and stupid. Yet.. the deepest part of Nicky yearned for healing.
This message of healing was like waves breaking into the lives of the gang leaders around him, they were being swept away by this love message. All of them but Nicky.
This was something that Nicky hated. He didn't want to stand alone. David was a threat to others. A threat to him. His heart hardened more.
Again and again, David popped up and tried to share this message, Nicky turned away.
In the end, Nicky's friend Israel convinced him to go to a rally that the preacher put up. Nicky brought 75 of his friends as a 'back up', his protection against David lol.
David showed love and trust and hope for Nicky. This continued to chip away at the walls that Nicky so frantically put up. Waves of this message of new life worked on him and Nicky's walls gave way. The Spirit of this message washed in upon Nicky's soul. This healing water drenched every part of his life, to the deepest core of him. This transformation came to his loneliness and instead he began to feel 'whole', complete, loved. This message came up against Nicky's fears, came up against his past, his past that was broken. His past where his own family hated him and spoke death words to him. This message replaced those death words and darkness with exhilerating life!
He accepted Jesus. His life was released and so Nicky went out and shared this message of how Jesus invaded his life and changed him.
The policemen couldn't believe it. All gangs of New York couldn't believe it. His OWN gang didn't believe it. No one. They say "oh you'll come back in two weeks". It's been 40 years or so and Nicky said that they are still waiting for his return! lol.
This man Nicky, I've read his book. This man David, I read his too.
Tonight, I saw Nicky face to face! Here in Abbotsford at the Abbotsford Pentecostal Assembly church he spoke the same message that had taken over his life.
Amazing testimony. Amazing witness of a life dramatically changed. This life has been one that has made an impact on my life signicantly. In lifeteams was when I ran across the book and then it just kind of spiralled to be a part of my life. I feel this will be something that will help me with big plans for the future! Yeah... this life-story seemed the darkest and most severe case of hopelessness and well, he stood before me and 3000 others and declared the gospel. You can find him at http://nickycruz.org
Also he is involved with Teen Challenge http://bcteenchallenge.com
Teen Challenge is a program aimed for those stuck in alcoholism, drugs, and those living on the streets. Helps them to get out of it. Check it out!

Git-R-Done Fer GOD

Hehe. That's from my Hermeneutics class this morning. She always starts the class with funny pictures or jokes. It's kinda nice:) I like our professor, Jennifer.
In regards to gittin' it done that pic is my buddy and amazing co-small-groupie leader MIRANDA! We have small groups with the girls tonight. We have it at Miranda's house, Yoyo is invading the apartment with her small group soooo we are chillin on Miranda's farm! I like her farm.
Mostly we been just having low-key activities for the girls.. sort of. The other week Miranda's mum drove us gals across the border to Bellingham's mall Bellis Fair. Before we let the girls loose in the mall we went to McDonalds, had tons of Dip'nDots (especially Julia). Then we went to the mall. I bought some sweet socks with Miranda (we both paid half for designer socks and we share socks! There was 5 pairs altogether, we picked 2 our favorite out of bunch and the last pair, she took one, I took the other half. It's only fair to get equal amount huh?), we got free balloons from friendly policemen, Julia and Steph attacked us with silly string, and we went to... MC'D's AGAIN!
S'more Dip'nDots. Julia got even more:S
I like Chocolate Mint Dots. You might want to try it, this icecream first freezes to your tastebuds and then melt.
Last week I had to bail on my group. Had a lovely 10 page paper to do for Adolescent Pysch. Still working on it, got to git that done. But Miranda did hang out with the girls who still wanted to do something with the group, and they hung out at 'Ethical Addictions'.

And tonight...
we be meetin at 'the Farm' (Mirandas) and talking about the Holy Spirit~
I'm so excited. I'm nervous.

Holy Spirit has been on my heart past few days.
The Holy Spirit's power at work in the world today,
lives being changed by Baptism of the Holy Spirit.
Why would Jesus care to send the Holy Spirit into the world? Why bother "leaving" heavenly realms to come down to this broken world?
How powerful is this force? Has it entered my life? How do I know? Who is the Holy Spirit? What is this baptism it brings?
All these questions will be addressed.

Acts 1:4-5,8
On one occasion, while he was eating with them, he gave them this command: "Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about. For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit."
But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."

John 14:26-27
But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Acts 2:4
All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.

Wow. Ack. Eek. Hallelujah!
When the Holy Spirit moves in me, all these emotions just come over and I want to scream, laugh, cry, yell, preach, dance, jump, ALL at the same time.
I pray that tonight the Holy Spirit will move in the hearts of His beloved's, His daughters.
Wow... I love... I just love. Love these girls. Love my Lord. I love.. this life.

Seasons of the Soul

"Seasons of the Soul"

Painter: Rasoulli

SiziKri, I am learning to trust you more. Everyday you find a way to make me fall in love with you. How merciful you are, Your hand extends out to me.

In seeking...

I am searching your presence.
Sometimes Lord you know when I am searching you with all my heart,
I am really searching, really seeking after your presence.
There are times I search you, but not really wanting to find you.
In some way I am looking for a darkness in you,
a place I can hide, even from within you.
I don't want all of myself to be made seen to your eyes,
times I wish I could hide myself.
But this is a lie.
I know it.
And so I grasp all of your Light.
For in your presence nothing is hidden.
Your light reveals, breaks down my walls of pride,
Your light reveals the idols that take place upon the alter of my heart.
Your light invades, I cannot control it, You throw off the idols and take the place of my heart that was yours since I've given my life to you.
In my surrender you're taking all control,
into your hands I commit my spirit...

And I dance! In this Holy Place...
Your dwelling is in me, so I rejoice.
The holds of darkness on my life, they've released me!
I am free...
Stepping into the Light, understanding had poured upon me.
I am free...
Through my temple, I'm cleansed of bitter evil.
I am free...
No more shackles,
I lift my hands to praise,
No more shackles,
I lift my feet to dance,
No more shackles,
I lift my soul as a sacrifice before the Lord Most Holy-
welling up from deep within me
is joyous sound- my song, my speech, cries and laughter,
it goes out to Him who takes my prayers as burnt incense.

My heart has returned to worship,
My life has returned to kneeling before the Throne,
the Lord, my King, is my Strength, my salvation,
and my Light in which I walk.

To Christs' Glory,

It's a mystery.

The Holy Spirit's work is a mystery. I just cannot wrap my mind around it. A lot of times I think I try to see if there is a strategy or the right steps or something, anything to figure out the plans of God. The plan He has willed in my own life.. everyday I think about it. God is always on my mind.
Sometimes I try to find Him anywhere I can, any evidence at all, I'll look for it. In a face, man-made buildings, nature of course, always the skies...
And there's always a knowing in me, a deep conviction burning within me-
Something more. Something greater.
'Pursue God. You'll never regret it.'
The sense of this is in all of me, the core of who I am.

From book "Cross and Switchblade"
"Paul," said Pastor Berg, "there's good news. You have just been elected Treasurer of Teen-Age Evangelism. David Wilkerson is your director in this fight for young people. And you'll be glad you have a budget for $20,000 for the first year".
Paul asked, "Who is David Wilkerson, who's got the books, and where is the money?"
"Paul", said Berg, "we have no books, we have no money, and Dave Wilkerson is a preacher from the hills of Pennsylvania who believes he belongs in New York".
Paul laughed. "You make it sound naive", he said.
"We are naive, Paul", said Pastor Berg. "Just about as naive as David was when he stepped up to Goliath with nothing but a sling, a pebble... and the conviction that he was on God's side".

And there is, there is a deep conviction that I am on God's side.
All I have is weakness. Have nothing. Just pebbles. And a sling.
A heart willing to worship my Savior with my life.

All He says is listen.
W a i t .
Set myself down, quiet my soul and voices that don't seem to stop chattering in my head, I try to quiet them too.
Wait when He says wait, Go when He says go.
And it's weird, peace is a Spirit God's been laying in me- about EVERYTHING.
Peace about waiting, peace about going- everything.
lol think a few times I got to the point where I questioned this peace- I've tuned into God, "Should I be THIS PEACEFUL about this? About that?"
Yep.
"Is there such thing as too much peace?"
God says nope.
Just enjoy it.
So I do.

Things have been happening, been stirring here.
I have been waiting, praying, wrestling, listening and He actually talks to me ("Duh Jo").
In that... I'm just at a place of awe. Astoundment. Excitement.
I'm holding my breath. Much like holding my breath on a roller coaster. The coach is inching up and up until we peak, we're at the highest point of the ride, my breath is held. There's a silence, the quick pause, and my hands are clenching on to the handlebars, and then the coach goes down.
I know it will be good.

Yo's kicking me around

I fell over again. This time it was because of Yo. I just got back from class, Yo was still sleeping, I had some breakfast and came in the room to rest. I couldn't really nap anymore so urges to bug Yo took over me. Yeaaaah, it's so much bugging Yo! Especially when she's sleepy. Bugging anyone when they're sleepy is fun lol (don't you miss us Josh?). My first attempt to attack Yo ended in me running, Yo grabbed my leg and I squirmed off the bed. I HATE it when Yo tickles me. She always wins! She gets vicious on me and never stops 'til you're so close to peeping your pants (a.k.a pee-ing). Anyway, I attacked her again and then I ran away. Just as I was about to run Yo kicked me on my side. I thought I had my balance pretty good, continued to run, stumbled over a bag that was at my feet and I just... flopped.
That came totally unexpected. One of my socks almost flew off (literally). LOL, it's been a few days since I laughed so hard. My stomach hurt. Tears poured down my face and I laughed even more. Catch my breath, laugh s'more.
Yo felt really bad, she said she didn't mean to kick me as hard as she did. But she laughed with me too.
So funny. This is the norm for me 'n Yoey's relationship. Pick on each other up, laugh (tends to be more laughing AT me), talk about everything and tripping on things. Next time she'll have to watch for my kunfu.

...

Did I mention that my family is out here in Abby?
They are here. School and work is out for Spring Break back home so they are here for the week! We been jus chillin, shopping, bugging each other, went to the carnival in town etc etc etc. I went on rides with Trev and convinced him to go on 2 that he was afraid of. He still has to warm up to the 'Ring of Fire'.. after going on he said he wasn't that afraid. Whatever Trev. And this past Sunday we went to Randy 'n Marys after church and we celebrated Billy's Birthday,
HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY BJ!
He still doesn't know what he wants for his birthday present.
Yesterday, mum, Trevy, Reaco 'n I went to the wAvE pool. $1 admission. Best part of going there- steamroom. The smell of cedar/vapor rub in the air, mmm makes me want to sleep.
I came out of there SO relaxed.
Ummm..
Oh! Few days ago we got to see Annie and Wayne! They were coming from Vancouver and dropped by Abby to see us. That's good. Or else Annie would never hear the end of it;) Albert, Gailene and Alicia were with them too. We went to RED ROBINS and caught up with each other.

...

But right now I'm heading off to the Hill Haven, Lifeteams house. Jimmy and Laura are visiting today so I'm goin to see them! Laura was back home in England past few months and here for a lil while!
And tonight...
us gals (GRITS Small Groupies) are going across the border to get some Dip 'n Dots and cruise through Belis Fair. Hopefully we're allowed back into Canada.

Lament

We are familiar with crying out to God. The Israelites reached out to His Faithfulness in times of need, whether in sickness, affliction, slander, war, or some other crisis. We, too, know this cry. The cry of our soul, the Lord knows it. He's the only One who can hear it, really. Our heart, it speaks a language, the One the Lord has weaved into us, only He can understand it.
From our deepest inner being- our cry, our moaning, our words, this song is drawn out of us through persecution of the soul.
We are afraid within ourselves. Isn't there someone out there who can hear me? Anyone out there who can help me?
Can you hear us God? Do you care to listen? Are you there? Have you abandoned us vulnerable before our enemy? Left to ourselves?
Our emotions, our confusions, just keep churning.
Hope seems distant. We scream "rescue". This is what we want.
But we believe "forsaken".
To be honest, this is something I like to believe sometimes.

A few weeks back, lamenting has been... lingering in the skies of my life. If you asked me a few weeks ago on what I felt about lamenting, I would have said I had no problem with lamenting. I had no problem with letting God know how I felt. I reflect on that now and feel.. I brought that a little bit too far.
I got too comfortable with lamenting and stretched too far in "freedom" of complaining to God. For that's really what lamenting is. Complaining.

We are free to lament. I don't mind it. Thank you God for this freedom. Within this, though, it's important to remember honoring God with respect. This should also be thrown into the balance of our honesty with God. If anything our God doesn't want us to be fake with Him, He knows ALL- the deepest desires and deepest hurts of us. God wants us to be honest with Him. He doesn't want our sugar-coated words or want us to beat around the bush with poeticly laced questions or feelings. He'll know what we really feel.
God I don't understand this. Where are you? Who are you? Why did you let this happen? I hate. I love. I don't like what I'm facing.. do something about it.
Last year I was having a conversation with Jesus, I felt he said that in the freedom of telling Him what we really feel... that shows TRUST on our side that we can go to our Father with anything. He can handle whatever we dish out, can handle our "wrath".
Our Father is trustworthy, we can share our secrets.
He is understanding, our tangled paths of confusion, misunderstanding, and anger, these paths could be made straight- He will counsel us through it.
We'll always be received with compassion. He is slow to anger.
To try and figure out anything by ourselves, we would just get twisted more.
To turn to the world, we would get darkened counsel.
As I've learned in Psalms class, lamenting most always end in rejoicing.
In the end of every chapter of my life I hope there would be rejoicing. If not, than definately the last chapter of my life. God is the author of it, so without a doubt, I know there will be joyous sound pouring from my lips and in my dance.
In midst of my lamenting, I can rejoice because I'm not alone.
I can rejoice because even in my weakness there is strength birthed from the Holy Spirit.
I can rejoice because warriors of the skies, God's angels, side with me.
I am heard, I am answered.
I am loved, I am not forsaken.
Most amazing, I am redeemed. Fully living salvation and working it out in my life.
So forget the belief that my cries could end in abandonment, but rather remember the promise of the Lord- His courage and strength- and may I instead cry out in abandoned praise.
When all else has disappeared and I am abandoned, I am always abandoned to the Lord. He is always there. In the end, He's all I have. And He's enough. More than enough.

~:~

Create in me a renewed right Spirit... GOD, your God, will cut away the thick calluses on your heart

and your children's hearts, freeing you to love GOD, your God,

with your whole heart and soul and live, really live.

Deut. 30.6 msg

I'll give you a new heart. I'll put a new spirit in you.

I'll cut out your stone heart and replace it

with a red-blooded, firm-muscled heart.

Ezek. 11:19 msg

... and replace it with a heart that's God-willed, not self-willed.

Ezek. 36:26

.

Job 33
1 "But now, Job, listen to my words;

pay attention to everything I say.
2 I am about to open my mouth;

my words are on the tip of my tongue.
3 My words come from an upright heart;

my lips sincerely speak what I know.
4 The Spirit of God has made me;

the breath of the Almighty gives me life.
5 Answer me then, if you can;

prepare yourself and confront me.
6 I am just like you before God;

I too have been taken from clay.
7 No fear of me should alarm you,

nor should my hand be heavy upon you.
8 "But you have said in my hearing—

I heard the very words-
9 'I am pure and without sin;

I am clean and free from guilt.
10 Yet God has found fault with me;

he considers me his enemy.
11 He fastens my feet in shackles;

he keeps close watch on all my paths.'
12 "But I tell you, in this you are not right,

for God is greater than man.
13 Why do you complain to him

that he answers none of man's words [a] ?
14 For God does speak—now one way, now another—

though man may not perceive it.
15 In a dream, in a vision of the night,

when deep sleep falls on men

as they slumber in their beds,
16 he may speak in their ears

and terrify them with warnings,
17 to turn man from wrongdoing

and keep him from pride,
18 to preserve his soul from the pit, [b]

his life from perishing by the sword. [c]
19 Or a man may be chastened on a bed of pain

with constant distress in his bones,
20 so that his very being finds food repulsive

and his soul loathes the choicest meal.
21 His flesh wastes away to nothing,

and his bones, once hidden, now stick out.
22 His soul draws near to the pit, [d]

and his life to the messengers of death. [e]
23 "Yet if there is an angel on his side

as a mediator, one out of a thousand,

to tell a man what is right for him,
24 to be gracious to him and say,

'Spare him from going down to the pit [f] ;

I have found a ransom for him'-
25 then his flesh is renewed like a child's;

it is restored as in the days of his youth.
26 He prays to God and finds favor with him,

he sees God's face and shouts for joy;

he is restored by God to his righteous state.
27 Then he comes to men and says,

'I sinned, and perverted what was right,

but I did not get what I deserved.
28 He redeemed my soul from going down to the pit, [g]

and I will live to enjoy the light.'
29 "God does all these things to a man—

twice, even three times-
30 to turn back his soul from the pit, [h]

that the light of life may shine on him.
31 "Pay attention, Job, and listen to me;

be silent, and I will speak.
32 If you have anything to say, answer me;

speak up, for I want you to be cleared.
33 But if not, then listen to me;

be silent, and I will teach you wisdom."
~

Footnotes:
Job 33:13 Or that he does not answer for any of his actions
Job 33:18 Or preserve him from the grave
Job 33:18 Or from crossing the River
Job 33:22 Or He draws near to the grave
Job 33:22 Or to the dead
Job 33:24 Or grave
Job 33:28 Or redeemed me from going down to the grave
Job 33:30 Or turn him back from the grave

...

.

Oh, wow. The Lord is at my side.

Renewed, he makes my soul.

Completely, broken down and made up again as pottery by His hands.

His Spirit weilding in me, greatness!

I get to take part in this.

From death. I was. To life. I came.

His Word

"Do you actually take the words of Jesus
for what it says?"
This has been a question booming in the back of my head.
Jesus words are powerful.
They bring life, they move hearts, they penetrate our thoughts, they break down walls of pride and arrogance...
He himself called himself "THE WORD".

Don't you believe that I am in the Father,
and that the Father is in me?
The words I say to you are not just my own.
Rather,
it is the Father,
living in me,
who is doing his work.
Believe me
when I say that I am
in the Father and the Father is in me;
or at least believe
on the
e v i d e n c e
of the miracles themselves.
.
I tell you the truth,
anyone
who has faith in me
!WILL DO!
-what I have been doing-.
.
He will do even greater things than these,
because I am going to the Father.
.
And I will do
w h a t e v e r...y o u...a s k
i n...m y...n a m e ,
so that the Son may
bring glory
to the Father.
You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.
.
"If you love me,
you will obey what I command.
.
And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor
to be with you forever—
the Spirit of truth.
The world cannot accept him,
because it neither sees him
nor knows him.
But you know him,
for he lives with you
and will be in you.
.
I will not leave you as orphans;
I will come to you.
Before long, the world will not see me anymore,
but you will see me.
Because I live, you also will live.
On that day
you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you.
.
Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him."
Then Judas (not Judas Iscariot) said, "But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world?"
Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. He who does not love me will not obey my teaching.
These words you hear are not my own;
they belong to the Father who sent me."
All this I have spoken while still with you.
.
But the Counselor,
the Holy Spirit,
whom the Father will send
in my name,
will teach you
all things
and will remind you
of everything I have said to you.
.
Peace I leave with you;
my peace I give you.
I do not give to you as the world gives.
DO NOT
let your hearts be troubled
and do not be afraid!
.
"You heard me say, 'I am going away and I am coming back to you.' If you loved me, you would be glad that I am going to the Father,
for the Father is greater than I.
I have told you now
before it happens,
so that when it does happen
you will believe.
I will not speak with you much longer, for the prince of this world is coming.
He has no hold on me,
but the world must learn that I love the Father
and that I do exactly what my Father has commanded me.
Come now; let us leave".
....................
These are words from:
John 14
Verses 10-31
....................

Zzzz

GUYS... I CAN'T SLEEP!
One of those nights...
j
u
s
t
.
can't.
s
..l
....e
......e
........p
...........

I'll try to go to bed.

Tomorrow I'll tell you guys about our Sunday youth service!

You're excited? I know, I'm excited too.

I wonder what they thought of zits way back in the day...

hymph