:) Throughout these past weeks I been feeling down, been struggling. But I see right now, as I reflect, how evident it was that I wasn't alone in it all.
I looked back over the few months and remembered all the times where my Dad has shown up, just by bringing comfort to my trembling, writing in people who made me feel better, or just spoke to me through the Bible in ways that amaze me.
He's been coming to me in image of a Father, I as His daughter, and we're on a beach. The beach has been a good place for me to meet with Him. Through prayer with others and in my own time, He likes to meet me there.
'N something's just come to light in these struggling weeks of how I got through it all.
It's been guiding principles,
'krutches of truth' that's helped up the mountain,
standing on the strong steady rock in the desert through winds of change,
being lifted up on 'eagles wings' out of the dark and above the clouds,
and like a refreshing long drink after having no water for days...
These are all images of help, guidance, a sense of victory or release after battling for awhile.
I've asked God to help me with what are my krutches that I lean on when I'm needing the extra strength, what truths come into my life or rise up in my memory when the devil is telling me lies or life throws me something hard. What's my rocks, wings, drink... (when I need it)
Here are some of mine (I recorded it in just how I remember it in my mind...):
-Every morning, renewed, release breath upon me (I am a new creature, new life in Christ, I wake up with this every morning)
-Release... in forgiveness.
I am releasing them from chains and snares. I am releasing myself from prison (of unforgiveness).
-Better in your courts than thousands else where... (seriously no better place than standin before God... in prayer)
-Hope doesn't disappoint.
-Embrace (my sis, Yo). Over time I've found that this word has opened me up to vulnerability in a healthy way, helped me to always be aware of when I need to take action to care and tend to people.
-There's jus no other way. Only one path, why take longer way of getting to place God is leading me too. I only jip myself. Listen to God in the first place. I only receive unnecessary beating from going down wrong path that I don't need.
-Confidence in fact that when I face something, I won't receive more than I can bare.
-I've received grace. Don't deserve good things. But I'm given it anyway. GIVE as I have freely been given.
-Only give what I have in my bowl, when I have nothing to give, don't feel bad about it.
When I am at a time where I need to receive, I trust God will send me someone to give to me (In other words, be okay when I have no words to say, no action to give, no service. I'm not meant to. Maybe I am to receive then? But when I have words for someone, act of service I can do for someone, love to give, I give abundently). (If I give when I have none, I'm giving of only myself, my selfishness, my human-ness. If I'm giving when I have something to give, I'm giving from the Spirit of which has allowed me to share)
Guess I could have given the reference of II Corinthians rather than explaining it all...
-Rise to compassion, not to anger. 'Cause this is what God for me...)
-There's a time for everything.
Time for assertion, time to lay back, time to mourn, cry etc. If I'm given words to speak in a moment, I am responsible for speaking it and God will hold me to it.
-Yes, Jesus is my friend. In balance with this, He is also my King. I receive freedom to lament as a friend, but respect goes hand in hand with it. My King is to be honored.
-Joy. Is my strength. Is my wings:)
I have joy with Yo, Joy in my life, even in hardship, but in the end, "I am okay.. everything is going to be okay". God has the earth, all in it, the heavens and the splendor of the galaxy in His hands.
With All this in His hands, with His hands He lifts me up to wipe tears off eyes and comfort me.
-God made me uniquely. With any authority I have, I have authority to be me. Freedom to be me. Free child. Be confident in it. I am pioneering in God's leading in my life.
-Jesus is the way. The truth. The life.
-My Lord is my Light and my Salvation.
-I picture how things could look funny as I stand before God on Judgement day. What angers me now, anything at all, would it be something that I care about when I stand before God.
Should I really get angry if a family member took the last piece of chicken (even though I really wanted). Should I sin against my brother just because of a little chicken?
(Although I don't think of chicken when something comes up, just using this silly analogy. 'N sometimes our anger is just really silly)
There's definately a lot more, these are just what came to mind as of now...
I was talkin' to Yo about this and she mentioned some of hers...
Grace and mercy... especially this year she's encountered experiences where God's shown her emmense Grace, where she herself has had to show Grace. It's kind of funny cuz through this I've seen the importance of having grace. It's releasing for others.
The word Hallelujah has become a word for her that she loves. It's excites her, it's her praise word.
Joy also has been something for her, joy in all areas of her life.
What are yours? Writing down a list is therapeutic (sp?).
Meanwhile, I got to take Eli and Sasha to Laurel's place, maybe me and Janelle will head to the beach...
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